AEA zine: Fiction: Damned Appointments by Jerry Langdon

AEA zine: Fiction: Damned Appointments by Jerry Langdon: DAMNED APPOINTMENTS Fiction by Jerry Langdon Dante described Hell as having nine circles. He was wrong. Hell has nine hundred and nine...

E - Flat ( losing it )

They tug and gnaw at my sanity;
Twist and eat upon my rationality.
The decaying line between fantasy;...
And that which seems reality;

 No longer offers hold to me.

Unsure who I am or used to be;
These demons are my reality;
These Alps that haunt me;

 They are now my integrity.
I am but a shadow entity
My sanity drifts into infinity,
My mind is blasphemy,

 Blackened to total obscurity.
Reasoning is for humanity,
Not for the likes of me.
Insanity covets me comfortly.

 It cradles me with security,
Whispers sweet lullabies to me.
I sink into its serenity.
I begin to lose my rationality.


© Jerry Langdon 2015

Holding my Hand

Now I feel like I've been living,
Out on the darkside of the moon.
Don't know when they're coming,
But they keep telling me, "Soon".


So I'll wait, passing time,
Not much else I can do.
It don't matter; It's alright,
Because I'm here with you.


Nothing really maters now,
Just make it through the day.
So I watch the sands of time,
Flow and make their way.


Sometimes I shudder,
As they pass me by.
Sometimes I laugh;
I don't know why.


Don't think I could,
Make the demand.
Without you here,
Holding my Hand.


Now it feels like I've been drifting,
Through the void of Space.
If it weren't for you,
There'ld be no light in this place.


I'm just floating here,
Through this endless night.
It don't matter; It's ok,
With you here holding me tight.


Alone; if not for you,
You're the only one.
You are my rescuing Angel,
My light, my Sun.


Nothing matter more than you,
You are my gravity field.
I orbit you like a satelite,
My longing will not yield.


Don't think I could,
Make the demand.
Without you here,
Holding my Hand.


© Jerry Langdon 2015

Season of Love

`Tis a time to love; to give,
Don't care much to receive.
`Tis a time to smile; to live,
No matter if I believe.
Christmas is time with family,
Time to laugh; time to play.
The season to set a smile free.
To pack the year into one day.
With luck it might snow,
Blanketting the world in white.
Spending comfort, letting me know,
Love is in the air tonight.
© Jerry Langdon 2015

Slaught

blood pouring

raining scarlet

beast goring

immortal regrets

celestial tears

comets falling

mortal fears

Death's calling

timid congregate

vicious attack

darkened fate

fading black

sheep slaught

silenced lamb

destruction caught

existence damn

dieties disappear

War emerges

mortals fear

choas purges

heavens fall

hells rise

collide all

deafening cries

© Jerry Langdon 2015

The Lost Year

Photos taken
Photos lost
Tomorrows awaken...
At Yesterday's cost

Friends made
Friends lost
Times paid
At Memory's cost




Poems penned
Gone forever
Words seasoned
With Life's endeavor




Shadows of memories dissapate
Whilst faces of yesterday fade
Nothing left to debate
Gone are memories made




Thought to be secure
Banned to paper crypt
Meant ages to endure
But in the Never dipped




Circumstance brought
Memorabilia loss
Left is naught
As ghostly moss




Photos taken
Photos lost
Tomorrows awaken
At Yesterday's cost






© Jerry Langdon 2015

Derelict Beauty

There is a beauty in the decrepit
Only a sorrowed heart can see
Derelict others would forget...
Can ignite many a story
Dead and left to decay
Eroding to dement memory
Fading as Time makes its way
Swallowed in body and history
There is a beauty in the decrepit
Only a sorrowed hearts can see
Nature is the culprit
Embracing what used to be
That which still remains
Encompassing a derelict Memory
One with the darkened stains
Of a derelict beauty
Breathing life into the dead
Igniting the birth of a story
That haunts and dances in the head.

© Jerry Langdon 2015

Raindrops...

Many still here with us

Too many left without a fuss

Fell like drops of rain

Upon blood thirsty terrain

Far, far away leaving all behind

Home in the back of the mind

Under flame scorched sky

Head hung to cry

Watch your buddy die

In silence you sigh,

"Goodbye, My Friend, Goodbye!"

Raindrops from the sky

Remember those heartless fields

Where fear never yields

MaryLou crossing your mind

That love left far, far behind

Remember that trench; your bed

Your Home when you're dead

Beneath that bitter sky

Head hung to cry

Watch your buddy die

In silence you sigh,

"Goodbye, My Friend, Goodbye!"

Raindrops from the sky

© Copyrighted Jerry Langdon 2015

The snap of a twig.....

The beauty of my dearest wife
Snapped like a twig from life
Thieving are the Otherworldly...
To steal her presence from me
I care little who I crank
Now so little reason to thank
They didn't allow me to go fore
To galantly open the door
No, they plunged her into uncertainty
Thereby they toy with my sanity
To add to my disgrace
Death laughs in my face
Whilst I die inside
He courts his new Bride
Carrying her over the threshold
As my blood runs cold
Missing my dearest wife
Snapped like a twig from life

Copyrighted Jerry Langdon 2015

Blood red Love

My heart is chained
No longer is it mine
My heart is stained
Blood red with love
Burnt beyond recognition
One kiss nothing left
An offering of submission
Fire I can't get enough of
And I hear your sigh
My breath is held
And I want to die
To be with you
It's needless to say
I need you in my heart
You are there to stay
And I am you
My heart hung in moss
Been here so long
Nailed to your cross
With nails of lust
I don't want to get away
No need for escape
I'm where I want to stay
And grow some rust
My heart is chained
No longer is it mine
My heart is stained
Blood red with love
You are my addiction
My certain fall
You are my infliction
That I'm dreaming of
All that I breathe for
My needed Oxygen
Could I ask for more?
Should I even try?
My rebirth, my end
You are always there
My love, my friend
The tears I cry
My heart is chained
No longer is it mine
My heart is stained
Blood red with love
© Jerry Langdon 2015

Infernal Blossom

Angels struck by envy
For her infernal beauty
Not a man not to kneel...
Under her sex appeal
Not a demon not driven mad
That she's not to be had
They call her Asmodelle
The blossom of Hell
No man shall pluck
No demon's luck
She is absolute desire
She is groin fire
A fruit untasted
Leaving hearts wasted
Giving Satan's throne
An iron bone
They call her Asmodelle
The fruit of Hell

Copyrighted Jerry Langdon 2015

Resist

Hello existence
Please excuse my resistance
Your punches,
Weight that crunches,
Your barricades,
And daily raids.
Against my mind
Naught as grind
Me to bits
Challenges my wits
I must resist
To exsist
So taken vow
To disallow
Your misery
To inflict me
Much I went through
Much I must do
I shalll prevail
I shall not fail
Naught an attempt
Shall remain exempt
To liberate
From this state
Of cannibalistic ego terror
And economical empathy error
So existence
Excuse my resistance
So long I exist
I shall resist
Resist envy
Fowl entity
Resist greed
Save for need
Resist wanton lust
Resist blind trust
Resist life and death
Resist losing breath
Over unimportance
Resist over indulgance
Existence I shall resist you
With all you put me through


© Jerry Langdon 2015

Morning Dear

Good Morning my Dear
I'm leaving my love here
I have to work today
But I'm not Long away
My thoughts will be for
The one that I adore


Good Morning my Dear
I'm leaving my love here
I'm off to war today
I'll be back someday
Until I return
Let this candle burn
My heart is heavy as stone
For leaving you alone


Good Morning my Dear
I'm leaving my love here
I'm off to work today
Will think of you all day
The day is so very long
My heart is where I belong
Always in your heart
No matter how long we part


Good Morning my Dear
I'm leaving my love here
I feel ill today
So I think I will stay
With thoughts of you in my head
As I lay there in bed
Surely I will be snug
But I could use a hug


Good Morning my Dear
I'm leaving my love here
Sorry I've passed away
But I'll be with you every day
I now live in your heart
So we must never part
I'll always be here
To say "Good Morning my Dear"


© Jerry Langdon 2015

Sanity's Peril

No matter ticking hour
If deep night, or mid day
The chill fades not away...
Undeminished in its power
Unfaultered my heart`s rage
As I write upon this page
Occurrences that may cause it to fail
( I can imagine I must be pale)
Yet that Hideous sight
Much more than simple fright
Dwelling deep within my mind
( Lord; were I blind)
Unable to see this terror
That stalks me without error
Taken my sanity hostage
Causing my heart to rage
Oh, how, I wish this to cease
Desperately pleading, straining for release
From this taunting Hell
The shadows that surround me
But a twig to a tree
In comparison to the horror I've seen
A fragment of monsters I've been between
Nightmares that dwell
In perils undreamt in Hell

© Jerry Langdon 2014

Ruthless sands

the glow in the sky

sunset refusing to die

keeps on burning

my heart is yearning

under these burning skies

only close my eyes

plagued with fears

open them in tears

where hope is my foe

just have to know have to await

or become bullet bait

under blistering sun hung high

where screaming bombs fly

until the sun sinks from sight

leaving but bitter cold night

the glow in the sky

sunset refusing to die

keeps on burning

wheels are turning

press of into the black

days of sleep I lack

skin is molten steel

not allowed to feel

thought leads to despair

better not to care

time is but a singularity

tomorrow only today's plurality

the sands of time are ruthless

I know I was witness

I spit on them

I shit on them

when I came to rest

'twas upon their breast

© Jerry Langdon

Harvester of harm

 

The wound gaping

Gurgling, gushing blood

Air fleetly escaping

In a sanguine flood

Face in panic contorted

Lips quivering blue

Motions exaggeratedly distorted

Aid is already overdue

Through the hole

Through the roof

Rising like a soul

The smoking proof

That mind blown

Never to be the same

For he alone

Must carry blame

Forgot to disarm

Forgot the last round

Harvester of harm

Body on the ground

© Jerry Langdon

Shine for me

 Give me a ray of light...
To guide me through the night
Let your heart shine
Everything will be fine
Your love is my beacon
It is the deacon
Of my house of stars
Where my passion shars
Constellating
Incubating
Congregating
Infatuating
Tears echo through the room
They promise my doom
My star threatens to fall
Leaving no light at all
Stay with me
Heaven I plea
Give me a ray of light
To guide me through this night
Place upon this heart of mine
A reason to shine
Shine for me
Shine for all to see
Let your heart shine
Everything will be fine
© Jerry Langdon 2015

The Taking

I was less than
A Score in age...
As it all began
A slave to rage
The Anger had drawn
Me into dreary abuse
All faith was gone
Head in a noose
Life had been feeding
Me with the left hand
My soul was bleeding
Head deeper in the sand
I was visited
Out of Hell
Visited? No inhabited
I its feeble shell
On the verge of insanity
Were I ever sane
I questioned my sanity
Seeking deliverance from pain
My aquaintance with alcohol
My affair with weed
Made it easy for my soul
To continue to bleed
For the moment numb
Holding maybe for a fortnight
I was so dumb
To give up the fight
The blackouts multiplied
More often I were he
That dwelled deep inside
He I wished not to be
I have no recollection
Of my Hyde.... of my Howdy
Just a faded reflection
Of my inner rowdy
The tales told
I took as tall
How blood ran cold
As he came to call
The fear of my eyes
The effort to avoid
Told therein lies
Naught as Hell's void
Though Long muted
Unsure if I reside
Alone and undisputed
Deep down inside
© Jerry Langdon 2015

Devil'sblood

Devil'sblood I say
Naysay you may
But devil you are...
Leaving bloody scar
With serpents tongue
Tales are strung
Impaling my skin
Chilling deep within
"I curseth ye!"
"Cursed you be!"
Brood of damness
Instigator of darkness
Your twisted facts
From truth distracts
With every thread of resistance
I loath your existence
In deceipt you delight
Anything to mask sight
Devil'sblood I say
The game you play
The rules all counterfeit
I must forfeit
"I curseth ye!"
"Cursed you be!"

© Jerry Langdon 2015

Gilded harp

It must be told
Her voice a harp of gold...
Crawls up my spine
I must make her mine
I fear to carry through
What my love could do
Her voice sings
On golden strings
Touching me ever so deep
Lulling me into sleep
Beauty tatooed in my mind
She has long signed
Her name upon my heart
It tears me apart
Fear of tainting perfection
Were I to steal her reflection
Those sapphire eyes
Where my carcass lies
Could turn black
The will I lack
The lust I hold
For that harp of gold

© Jerry Langdon 2015